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Drect Applactalkwave, Lagome Bard by AcetheSuperVillain
Drect Applactalkwave, Lagome Bard
"I feel so good!"

She feels euphoric due to inebriation.  

When Drect was 2 years old, Drect was kidnapped by ant-people, and her real parents were killed by a kaiju a year later.  Drect was raised by the ant-people and left the colony to seek her fortune.  She became apprenticed to a panda-person bard and became a master of the hejian, a glass stringed instrument from the pandamon culture.  She has now settled in a Dwarf Fortress.  Drect drowns her sorrows in the local carrot wine as she pines for the family she never really had.  

I did not make this character.  She was generated by Dwarf Fortress and reported to me by darkflagrance.  From Furry Fortress 2

Made with Tablet and Gimp, April 2016.
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Alright, so I'm super stoked about the new version of D&D, D&DNext, but I don't have a team to play with anymore, so I'm venting frustration in various ways.  Today I decided to roll some random characters to see what kind of awesome chaotic combinations the cold hand of Fate can dream up.  Fate actually decided to be pretty boring for awhile, but then came up with some good ones.  

Racial ability bonuses are presented in (parentheses) to divide them from the random roll.  So if you see 9 (+2) it means the final score is 11.  If you're not familiar with D&D ability scores, they are Strength, Dexterity, Constitution (Stamina), Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma.  The maximum, 20, is a god-like ability, 10 is average, 5 is a crippling disability and I think having your ability scores reduced to 1 or less will result in death.  I have generated the ability scores by the PHB's suggestion of rolling 4d6, removing the lowest roll and using the total.    

1)
Drusilia Rael Amakiir (Gemflower)
Female Wood Elf Bard Noble
STR: 18, DEX: 9(+2), CON: 10, INT: 16, WIS: 7 (+1), CHA: 9  ("so... why did you become a bard?"  "...To hit things")  
College of Valor (good, cuz the magic thing is not going to work out real well)
"Despite my Noble birth, I do not place myself above others.  We all have the same blood."
"It is my duty to protect and care for the people beneath me"   
"I am in love with the heir of a family that my family despises"
"I have an insatiable desire for the carnal pleasures" (So we're actually playing the Elf magicy swordfighty character pretty straight, except for being strong as a horse and just as handsome)

2)
Damakos Torment
Male Tiefling Warlock Sailor
STR: 16, DEX: 6, CON: 17, INT: 13 (+1), WIS: 15, CHA: 14 (+2) (that dex stat's gotta make sailing difficult)
Otherworldy Patron is "The Great Old One" (perfect for a Sailor.  Lovecraft fans, anyone?)  
"I work hard so that I can play hard when the work is done"
"The sea is freedom.  The freedom to go anywhere and do anything."  (as long as it doesn't involve my hands)
"I'm loyal to my captain first, everything else second"
"I'll say anything to avoid having to do extra work"  

3)
Thola Nathandem
Female Human Druid Outlander
STR: 12 (+1), DEX: 9 (+1), CON: 10 (+1), INT: 7 (+1), WIS: 15 (+1), CHA: 11 (+1)  (ouch.  it's like a female Ash Ketchum!)
Circle of the Land; Grassland
"I watch over my friends as if they were a litter of newborn pups"
"It is each person's responsibility to make the most happiness for the whole tribe"
"My family, clan or tribe is the most important thing to me, even when they are far away"
"Don't expect me to save those who can't save themselves.  It's nature's way that the strong survive and the weak perish."  (That might not be the best policy for someone with that stat roll...)

4)
Lindal Tosscobble
Male Lightfoot Halfling Rogue Guild-Artisan (I was really annoyed at first because Halfling Rogue is so unoriginal, but the Guild Artisan might make it a bit more interesting)
STR: 10, DEX: 11 (+2), CON: 9, INT: 12, WIS: 10, CHA: 13 (+1)
Arcane Trickster (Now this is actually pretty interesting, and drives us further away from the Bilbo Burglar trope)
Carpenter/Roofer/Plasterer (So I guess he knows how to break into a building because he knows how they're made)
"I always want to know how things work and how people tick"
"I'm committed to the people I care about, not to ideals"  (like honesty)
"The workshop where I learned my trade is the most important thing in the world to me"
"I'll do anything to get my hands on something rare and priceless"  (*kisses the air* perfect!)

5)
Aust Sai Siannodel (Moonbrook)
Male Half-Elf (High Elf) Fighter Soldier  (Really? Fighter-Soldier?  Come on, random hand of Fate, you can be more original than that!)
STR: 15 (+1), DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT: 12 (+1), WIS: 8, CHA: 13 (+2)
Eldritch Knight (Oh sure, make the half-elf a magic knight.  Way to be racist, dice...)  
Standard Bearer
"I have a crude sense of humor" (oh, thank the gods for that...)
"My city, nation or people are all that matter"
"I'll never forget the crushing defeat my company suffered or the enemies that dealt it"
"I made a terrible mistake in battle that cost many lives--and I would do anything to keep that mistake secret."  (These last two go together well)

6)
Emen Hahpet
Female Half-Orc Cleric Entertainer  (Now we're getting interesting!)
STR: 14(+2), DEX: 17, CON: 13(+1), INT: 13, WIS: 10, CHA: 12  (we were doing so well, until we got to the one stat you need as a cleric!)
Trickery Domain  (The first power you get from this domain is the ability to create an illusionary duplicate of yourself.  Sounds entertaining to me)
Actor (this is all coming together nicely)
"Nobody can stay angry with me or around me for long, since I can diffuse any tension"
"I like seeing the smiles on people's faces when I perform.  That's all that matters."
"I want to be famous whatever it takes" (mwahahaha!)
"I once satirized a noble who now wants my head.  It is a mistake that I will probably repeat."  

7)
Kava Kepeshkmolik
Female Blue Dragonborn Sorceror Sage
STR: 12 (+2), DEX: 15, CON: 8, INT: 11, WIS: 12, CHA: 14 (+1)
Dragonic Ancestry (since she's already a blue dragon, let's go with Blue Dragon ancestry)
Professor
"There's nothing I like more than a good mystery"  (so she's a female thunder dragon Sherlock Holmes...?)
"The goal of a life of study is the betterment of oneself"  (definitely Sherlock Holmes)
"I work to preserve a library, university, scriptotorium or monastery"
"I can't keep a secret to save my life, or anyone else's"

8)
Gurdis Loderr
Female Hill Dwarf Monk Folk-Hero  (look back in my gallery, and you will find a short comic of a female dwarf that power tackles and then suplexes an ogre over twice her size.  it was forseen!)
STR: 13, DEX: 10, CON: 14 (+2), INT: 11, WIS: 16 (+1), CHA: 17  (Does charisma still mean well-endowed?)  
Way of the Open Hand (good ol' fashioned dwarf-fu)  
Defining Event: "A celestial, fey or similar creature gave me a blessing or revealed my secret origin"  
"I get bored easily.  When am I going to get on with my destiny?"
"No one should get preferential treatment before the law, and no one is above the law"
"A proud noble once gave me a horrible beating, and I will take revenge on any bully I encounter"
"Secretly, I believe things would be better if I were the tyrant lording over the land"  (So she's Liu Bei?  Boom!  History slam!)  (Look it up!)  

9)
Jebeddo "Doublelock" Garrick
Male Rock Gnome Ranger Criminal  (from the feared and respected Gnomish mafia)  
STR: 14, DEX: 9, CON: 11 (+1), INT: 15 (+2), WIS: 11, CHA: 13
Favored Terrain: Grassland (same as that human druid)
Two Weapon Fighting Style
Beast Master 
Criminal Type: Fence  (I don't know if I see this one fitting in...)  
"I don't pay attention to the risks of the situation.  Never tell me the odds."  (so you're like a Han Solo meets Belkar Bitterleaf?)
"I don't steal from others in the trade"
"Something important was stolen from me, and I aim to steal it back"
"If there's a plan, I'll forget it.  If I don't forget it, I'll ignore it."  (for some reason, I read these with Christian Bale's Batman voice)  (nanananana Batgnome!)  (Actually, Adam West's voice works too)  

10)
Shaumar Murnyethara
Male Human Barbarian Charlatan  (wait, what?  WHAT???)  
STR: 13 (+1), DEX: 9 (+1), CON: 15 (+1), INT: 13 (+1), WIS: 17 (+1), CHA: 16 (+1)  (so maybe Barbarianing is more of a hobby?)
Path of the Berzerker  
(So of course, the D&DNext barbarian is simply a warrior that relies on feral instinct and a state of high adrenaline rage when fighting, and does not automatically entail any lack of culture or brainpower.  However, for this example, I am going to go with the comedy option)  
Scam "I cheat at games of chance"  (You want play blackjack with Ogg?)  
"I'm a born gambler who can't resist taking a risk for a potential payoff"  (Hmmm... Ogg bet all on black!)
"I never target people who can't afford to lose a few coins"  (Ogg no take from poor!  Ogg take from rich and give to Ogg!  Ogg Smash!)
"I come from a noble family, and one day I will reclaim my lands and title from those who stole them from me"  (So we're Robin Hood with a great-axe)  
"I'm always in debt.  I spend my ill-gotten gains on decadent luxuries faster than I bring them in."  (Ogg knew Ogg should have spent so much money for new ferrari.  Oh well.  You want play blackjack with Ogg?)  

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:iconkairui-chan:
Kairui-chan Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2016  Student General Artist
Poppy-watchthanks by Kairui-chan  
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:iconr-star97:
R-Star97 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for favin ^^
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:iconiblodyxi:
IBlodyXI Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav ^^ 
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:icone-t-h-i-n:
E-T-H-I-N Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks 4 the Fave!
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:iconraihiko:
Raihiko Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Student
Thank you very much for the fav! :heart:
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:iconnaughtybudgie:
NaughtyBudgie Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2009
wut
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:iconacethesupervillain:
AcetheSuperVillain Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2009
good point
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